The First Thing to Understand:
You don’t, and cannot, understand women. Their mental operations is complex, multilayered, and – to men, and to many other women – quite baffling.
Kipling said it well, in The Female of the Species is Deadlier Than the Male.
The part of that poem that explains Today’s Woman (not that dissimilar from Yesterday’s Woman):
She is wedded to convictions—in default of grosser ties;
Her contentions are her children, Heaven help him who denies!—
He will meet no suave discussion, but the instant, white-hot, wild,
Wakened female of the species warring as for spouse and child.
Unprovoked and awful charges—even so the she-bear fights,
Speech that drips, corrodes, and poisons—even so the cobra bites,
Scientific vivisection of one nerve till it is raw
And the victim writhes in anguish
I leave out that non-PC part that follows.
If you are not prepared to fight to the death, walk away.