Since 95% of my readership, as of this writing, know me personally, you should be familiar with my status as a local Tampa DJ. A great deal of my perspective on the decline of our culture’s quality was gained from the view of the DJ booth. It’s certainly an interesting exercise in human nature to watch the club from up there.

So, naturally, when a moment arises to both demonstrate the depths of stupidity to which our culture has sunk and blast fake, attention-seeking celebrity DJs, I embrace that opportunity with open arms.

Tell me what’s wrong with this picture:

Yes, that’s Paris Hilton behind a DJ booth “rocking” the same gear I use in my shows. It’s rare for the antics of most celebrities, as disconnected as they are from reality, to genuinely piss me off. Congratulations Paris, achievement unlocked.

Wealth has always conferred privilege, that is simply the way of the world. I don’t begrudge Paris Hilton her money, nor the right to purchase any audio gear she doesn’t know how to use with said funding.

I do, however, think it’s a sign of our times that not only would club owners and promoters actually put a trainwrecking celebrity figure who doesn’t even know how to DJ in front of a DJ booth… but large numbers of people actually show up to watch every agonizing moment of that trainwreck in slow motion!

Celebrity worship in our society has reached the point of absolute lunacy. Asking Paris Hilton to DJ on stage in Ibiza is the functional equivalent of asking Dale Earnhardt, Jr. to compose for the Boston Symphony. It does not compute.

Would it be different if she had been hobbyist DJ, using her wealth and connections to parlay it into a successful professional career? Absolutely. But as the link above shows you, there is no DJing talent or acquired, practiced skill anywhere in Paris Hilton’s repertoire.

To Native Instruments, the manufacturer of her mixing controller, I can only say this: I’d send this woman a note with a request to stop using your products, along with a sample of free products from your competitors. It would be a great PR move.

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