If you’ve ever seen the movie Office Space, you may remember the restaurant Jennifer Aniston’s character worked at. The manager constantly harped on her for not wearing enough “flair”, or little useless pins attached to her uniform, saying the restaurant was about fun. It reminded me right away of every chain restaurant I’ve ever been to. You would go to Applebee’s, for example, and see random fake or reproduction Americana plastered on the walls, and I suppose it was there to make you feel… something.

I don’t know. It all comes off as fake to me. Similarly there is a new restaurant down the street called Ford’s Garage. The theme is automotive, of course, with old model T cars outside, random pieces of automotive history stuck to the walls, and a tire around the sink in the bathroom. Everything is perfectly clean and thought out, in typical chain restaurant fashion. The local Mustang Club, of which I have been a member for some time, discussed moving their meetups to Ford’s Garage, because that theme tied in well with the Mustangs.

That never happened. And the reason it never happened is instructive. For many years, the Mustang meetups were held at a dive bar and burger joint called the Biff Burger. It was mainly a hangout for bikers and gearheads of various stripes, and over the years car shows and meetups just kind of naturally happened there. Unlike Ford’s Garage, the place lacks the usual chain restaurant modern cleanliness, the politically correct wall art, and the carefully focus group tested menus.

No. When you go there, there are pictures of mostly naked pinup girls on the wall, a retinue of leather-clad bikers at the bar bullshitting about various topics, and a slew of muscle cars and gearheads drinking out in the parking lot. The beer is cheap, the food greasy, but good. Somebody decided to drop the body of a rusted out 57 Chevy on top of the building for God only knows what reason. Biff Burger doesn’t have to try to be a gearhead hangout. It is a gearhead hangout. There’s a certain level of authenticity the chain restaurants just never figured out.

And so the petition to move the meetup to Ford’s Garage stalled, and on the first Monday of every month, there we are at the Biff Burger, bullshitting about car parts and drag races. SJWs would be horrified at the girls in low cut tops, swaying their hips for the benefit of bikers talking about getting laid, the muscle cars belching greenhouse gasses into the atmosphere, and the loudness of the whole affair. The Biff Burger would be triggering to every one of them.

I started to notice one day that this sort of thing plays out across America, across a variety of groups, ideas, and locales. We’ve all seen it. Gamers know it well enough from the whole GamerGate affair. Hardcore gamers, playing everything from Call of Duty to Starcraft II, had little patience for so-called grrrlpower “gamers” who played Candy Crush, or people like Anita Sarkeesian, who found misogyny and woman-hatred in the outfits of fighting game characters. This held true even for those hardcore gamers who were women.

Anita Sarkeesian and her ilk, of course, wanted to do to games what Ford’s Garage did to gearhead hangouts: sanitize it. Oh sure, the packaging of gaming would remain. The metaphorical wall art would be plastered on the walls. It would look kind of like a game. But the essence of the thing would be stripped out by the same process that sanitized it. An SJW “game” would no longer be a game in any real sense. Jonathan McIntosh famously said that games shouldn’t be “fun” anymore.

Just as gearheads want to hang out at the Biff Burger, so would gamers want their prodigious violence, the things that blow up, the female characters in tight shorts, the men with comical, cartoonish muscles. It’s no different than the bikers revving their Harleys on the way out of the biker bar.

The same holds true for the realm of Science Fiction, where Sad Puppies want to write novels about slaying monsters, or blowing up spaceships, or crazy women attracting the attention of genetically engineered political anarchists (Sarah, I’m looking at you). The attempt to sanitize Science Fiction with a ruthless focus on Leftist politics and Social Justice strips away the essence of Science Fiction. An SJW author would use these things as decorations for a political message.

It’s no longer Science Fiction. It’s focus group tested Social Justice with some Sci-Fi themed wall art. Leftist Science Fiction is, in essence, the Applebee’s of Sci-Fi. It is utterly sanitized, cleansed of any meaning whatsoever, carefully branded, and served in precisely measured fashion.

Everywhere I go, I see Leftists doing this. They will strip away the meat of a thing, and replace it with Social Justice, decorated with the bleached bones of whatever the thing used to be. A Mustang club in a Leftist world would be about addressing the inequalities of race, gender, and sexual orientation first, and gearhead activities second. You probably wouldn’t even need to own a Mustang to be a member. Certainly, you don’t have to be a gamer to be a Social Justice gaming advocate (remember, gamers are dead, right?).

And so one day it occurred to me, plain as day: SJWs are Posers.

That’s right. Just like the guy who comes into the Mustang club claiming his hunk of junk is the fastest thing in the world because he a put a JMS PedalMax in it, you see these people who have absolutely no clue what it means to be anything at all. They are tourists. They come in and culturally appropriate the wall art (how’s that, SJWs? That’s your term, not mine). They are not gamers, or gearheads, or Sci-Fi fans. But they like the decorations these things have, and they have a grudge against people who are having a good time without them, and so feel a need to insert themselves into our business.

And since they are not us, and don’t really understand us, they try to modify the scene to their own tastes. This means removing the essence from it, killing it, stripping away what made it great, and stuffing the whole thing with Social Justice like some kind of twisted intellectual Marxist taxidermist. And then they have the utter gall to take their fake, stuffed monstrosity, wearing the skin of whatever it once was, and say to us “we are the real gamers, the real gearheads, the real Sci-Fi fans.”

No, SJWs, you’re the guy with a beat up old V6 Mustang, with a fart cannon strapped to the back, who thinks he’s the biggest, baddest thing on the block. You’re the Candy Crush player who says “I’m a gamer too!” You’re the Sci-Fi author who spends all of his time screaming about Vox Day and declaring his love for pies on Twitter, who then comes up with the most lame title for a book I’ve ever heard in my life: The Collapsing Empire.

And not only do you demand a participation trophy for your “contribution,” you want to lead the group. You want to determine its future, because you have some sense of moral indignation that you weren’t automatically handed the keys to the kingdom because you were a genderqueer woman of color, or some such.

SJWs are, in my opinion, part of a wider trend in which people want to feel that they belong to something, but are unwilling to pay the price of admission, and in many cases, don’t even like the thing they want to belong to. Does Anita Sarkeesian really like gaming? Why would she spend all of her time heaping hatred upon gaming if she did like it?

So yes, SJWs are posers. They are Marxist chameleons pretending to be a gearhead, a gamer, a Sci-Fi fan, or a thousand other such things. I guess some people figure that they can use the posers to bolster their membership numbers, but it never works. The posers wanted the chain restaurant, us gearheads are happy with the pizza burgers (yes, this is a thing), cheap beer, and the scantily clad pinup girls of the Biff Burger.

You fuck with our fun at your own risk. We are WrongFans having WrongFun. Keep out.

Unrelated side note: there is an ongoing debate whether it should be properly rendered “poser” or “poseur”. I’ve no particular opinion, since both appear to be valid in the dictionary. But this is apparently something of a grammar tripwire, so by all means, post your opinions in the comments.

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