It must be said that I’m not Roosh, Vox, Roissy or even an accomplished Game practitioner. Game has done for me what it has done for many men: opened my eyes to the truth of male-female interactions and allowed me to ascend from complete shrub to someone with a modicum of desirability. It wasn’t something I learned from the so-called Manosphere or the Pickup Artist community; it was a thing I bumbled across over the course of a decade full of mistakes and bad choices. But Game and the Game Theorists provided a rationale to explain the experience. Over time, thanks to Vox and Roissy, I became aware of the link between Beta Male stupidity and Leftism, once again another thing I knew instinctively but could not articulate.

Still, Roosh would probably say I have no business commenting on the subject. The man has slept with hundreds of women, I have not. That said, I have achieved what I set out to do, and I am satisfied. And my own experience, while falling far short of Roosh, is still respectable. Yet, this drivel compelled me to speak up.

Yes. This is 20 Awesome Marriage Tips from a Divorced Man.

Really? Since when did society start taking more advice from people who SUCK at something than from people who are good at it? Great, you got a divorce, so you’re obviously the go-to guy for insights into marriage? This is the functional equivalent of letting a guy who just plowed into a telephone pole give you driving tips. “Hey man, watch out for telephone poles, they are tricky!” Yeah, we got it.

But, okay, I can give experience the benefit of the doubt. The guy who got shot in combat might have just been unlucky as shit. Maybe he has something important to tell us? Well, let’s begin.

Obviously, I’m not a relationship expert. But there’s something about my divorce being finalized this week that gives me perspective of things I wish I would have done different… After losing a woman that I loved, and a marriage of almost 16 years, here’s the advice I wish I would have had…

Give Captain Obvious a prize. He’s not a relationship expert. Well, no shit. The drunk driver who plowed into the guardrail last week probably wasn’t a Formula 1 driver either.

1) Never stop courting. Never stop dating. NEVER EVER take that woman for granted. When you asked her to marry you, you promised to be that man that would OWN HER HEART and to fiercely protect it. This is the most important and sacred treasure you will ever be entrusted with. SHE CHOSE YOU. Never forget that, and NEVER GET LAZY in your love.

Translation: Serve her. If there is a puddle, put your coat on it. And why should she pump her own gas? Just what the hell does this guy think a woman is, anyway? Pedestal-worship is the worst sort of stupidity that can infect a man’s brain. I’ve seen women beat a man down, emotionally; reduce him to a sniveling wreck, just because she could. Last week I read an article about how a sexy nurse took a dying old man’s finances for a ride, causing him to die early from the stress. No, women are not angels or queens anymore than us ball-scratching, beer-belching men are somehow paragons of heavenly virtue. People suck. Women are people. QED.

2) PROTECT YOUR OWN HEART. Just as you committed to being the protector of her heart, you must guard your own with the same vigilance. Love yourself fully…

This guy obviously spent a lot of time getting some self-love fulfillment. It doesn’t sound like his wife was doing much of that work, after all. Watch the movie American Beauty to get a sense for how tragic this can really be for a man.

3) FALL IN LOVE OVER and OVER and OVER again… Always fight to win her love just as you did when you were courting her.

Translation: Serve her. Worship her. Make her the center of your universe. You know, there’s a reason every man I know who writes poetry is kind of like a Sexual Titanic headed straight for the Iceberg of Life-long Virginity.

4) ALWAYS SEE THE BEST in her. Focus only on what you love.

Translation: She’s never wrong. If she grows a third leg or a stomach the size of a dump truck, just build a bigger pedestal to worship her on. Look, if I’m getting bigger than an Orca on a Bacon Diet, I would like a heads-up. I would extend that same courtesy to any women in my life. Ignoring mistakes made by your wife is just asking for marital trouble.

5) IT’S NOT YOUR JOB TO CHANGE OR FIX HER…

Well this is just extension of #4. Be an idiot and bow to her vagina, no matter how many better men have plowed it before you arrive with your supplications and romantic drivel.

6) TAKE FULL ACCOUNTABILITY for your own emotions

And hers, too, it would seem. I’ve seen a lot of servile Beta Males in my life, but this jackwagon really takes the cake. I’d feel sorry for him, except that if he didn’t figure it out in 16 years of shitty marriage, my pity is unlikely to help overmuch.

7) NEVER BLAME your wife If YOU get frustrated or angry at her

Once more, women are never wrong. Even when they are wrong, it’s your fault. Did you cheat on her? Bad husband! No pussy for you! Did she cheat on you? Bad husband! No pussy for you!

Allow your woman to JUST BE. When she’s sad or upset, it’s not your job to fix it, it’s your job to HOLD HER and let her know it’s ok.

What if it isn’t fucking okay? One of my ex-girlfriends once flipped the breaker when I was working on the electrical wiring in the house, because she didn’t want to miss her favorite TV show — even though I told her I was rewiring the house. I was working on the 220 volt outlets, and that fucking hurt. She was upset, and wanted to be sure I wasn’t mad at her. This man would have said “oh, it’s okay you filled with me up with enough electricity to make me look like Young Frankenstein with a mohawk” and held her close. Me? No. I told her she was a fucking moron and next time she better not do something that stupid. Honesty really is the best policy.

Have you noticed how “nice guy” Beta Male supplication could all be pretty much defined as manipulating a woman by lying to her? I don’t care if it’s the easy, comfortable thing to do. It’s functionally retarded.

9) BE SILLY… don’t take yourself so damn seriously. Laugh. And make her laugh. Laughter makes everything else easier.

I can actually agree somewhat with this. Laugh at yourself and do crazy shit sometimes. Women like spontaneity and it can make life interesting. If you can comfortably make fun of yourself, at times, then you are actually displaying a level of confidence and dominance by doing so. Just don’t overdo it and go emo. And don’t do it on a first date — that’s just asking for trouble.

10) FILL HER SOUL EVERYDAY… learn her love languages and the specific ways that she feels important and validated and CHERISHED.

Fill her soul… not her vagina, because you’ll never see it acting like this. Women don’t want to feel validated, they want to feel protected, taken, cared for. It’s all in the biology. And even if you wound up meeting a woman who doesn’t care for dominance (I’ve never met one, but let’s theorize here) she still won’t want an unauthentic supplicant who merely confirms everything she says and loves her unconditionally. You can go get a dog for that — you don’t need a man.

11) BE PRESENT. Give her not only your time, but your focus, your attention and your soul.

Again with the servile stupidity. Is he a man or a slave?

12) BE WILLING TO TAKE HER SEXUALLY, to carry her away in the power of your masculine presence, to consume her and devour her with your strength, and to penetrate her to the deepest levels of her soul. Let her melt into her feminine softness as she knows she can trust you fully.

Bingo! Now we’re on to something. Something tells me, however, that of all the advice on this list, this was the one the husband failed to do properly. This gets a whole-hearted Dystopic endorsement however. In addition to this, however, ensure that she orgasms. Learn to tell when women are faking it (there are signs). If she orgasms, you’ll be likely to see her again and in any event it’s only fair, right?

13) DON’T BE AN IDIOT…. And don’t be afraid of being one either.

Don’t be a dumbass. Okay. Got it. Why did this item make the list? You’d think this one was common sense.

14) GIVE HER SPACE… The woman is so good at giving and giving, and sometimes she will need to be reminded to take time to nurture herself.

Give her plenty of space; let her go out with her girlfriends and meet better men than you. Read her mind so you know this without her asking, then go home and wank-out in front of the computer to tranny porn while your lady meets a better man.  You know, the Alpha sort of man doesn’t need to give her space — he needs space of his own, because he’s busy having some sort of interesting life.

15) BE VULNERABLE…

This never works. In the interests of science I conducted an experiment seven years ago, where I joined a dating site and sent off ten messages in which I casually insulted each woman, and ten messages in which I engaged in some self-deprecation. I received replies only from the women I insulted. One of them even went out on a date with me sometime later. Now, don’t take this as evidence that treating women badly is a good thing, but do understand that being vulnerable doesn’t do you any good whatsoever.

16) BE FULLY TRANSPARENT. If you want to have trust you must be willing to share EVERYTHING…

Wrong. Mystery is one of those things even women will admit they like, from time-to-time. They would rather read books about quasi-gay pedophile vampires that sparkle, because at least they are mysterious, than date a man who reveals everything.  An old Chinese proverb states that every man has three hearts, one for the world, one for the closest people in his life, and one for himself alone. Live by that. We have all done some shameful, stupid or repellent shit in our lives, and nobody, not even your budding lady-friend, wants anything to do with that shit.

17) NEVER STOP GROWING TOGETHER…

Never stop serving her, you mean. Until she serves you with divorce papers. Then you go post romantic drivel on the internet in an effort to spam my facebook wall. Brilliant.

18) DON’T WORRY ABOUT MONEY. Money is a game, find ways to work together as a team to win it.

Take her on a trip to Europe. Buy her fancy shit. But don’t make her feel guilty about it. Look, women like money, even the ones who aren’t gold diggers. A man who can handle his finances has a marked advantage over the guy who can’t. But that doesn’t mean you should waste tons of money on her, or let her anywhere near your finances for that matter. The thing women like most about a man with money is the absence of financial worries, the removal of monetary stress from her life so she is free to concentrate on you. That doesn’t mean you waste money on heaping piles of jewels or expensive vacations you don’t want to take. But it does mean assuring her of your capacity for success in life. Wealth is a huge indicator in a man’s sexual market value, but I’ve seen plenty of well-off Beta Males who blow it anyway.

19) FORGIVE IMMEDIATELY and focus on the future rather than carrying weight from the past.

So she can be a raging bitch, but you have to immediately say you’re sorry. What a heaping pile of elephant dung.

20) ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE. ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE. ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE. In the end, this is the only advice you need.

What is love, anyway? Hollywood would have you believe it is this quasi-mystical force that holds the universe together. That’s an overly-inflated, egocentric viewpoint. Humans are sapient animals. Deep in our genetic code we are wild and want to fuck like rabbits so we can make more copies of ourselves. Men would prefer hot women, women would prefer dominant men. Love is what happens when both partners in the affair think they are getting a good deal. The man is thinking “holy fucknuts she’s super-mega-hot, like dropping a thermonuclear bomb into the ninth circle of Hell.” The woman is thinking “Oh-my-God look at those muscles, and he’s so smart, and did you see the guitar. HOLYSHITFUCKNUTSOMG he’s a musician.”

That might be a slight exaggeration, but when both partners think they’ve done well in a mate, we have a satisfaction with the relationship that we call love. If one partner thinks the deal sucks, or comes to think the deal sucks later because the other person let themselves go… the divorce papers will soon follow. Hit the treadmill, ladies. Men, hit the stock exchange or the gym, or buy a motorcycle and learn a foreign language that isn’t French (preferably all of the above).

But these are lessons I am learning and committed in carrying forward. Truth is, I LOVED being married, and in time, I will get married again, and when I do, I will build it with a foundation that will endure any storm and any amount of time.

If you are reading this and find wisdom in my pain, share it those those young husbands whose hearts are still full of hope, and with those couples you may know who may have forgotten how to love. One of those men may be like I was, and in these hard earned lessons perhaps something will awaken in him and he will learn to be the man his lady has been waiting for.

You may be married again, my wayward friend, but it will be to an orca-sized housfrau of truly legendary levels of bitchiness. Your sexual value is low because you put yourself there. Your years of supplication, of worshiping women from abject submission have told her all she needs to know: she could do better, and you could not. Love is conditional. It’s one of the most bitter experiences in a man’s life to come to realize this, but it is also freeing in a way the bluepills could never imagine.

Be the type of husband your wife can’t help but brag about.

No. Just be the man she comes home to and can’t resist being with. Who cares what she said to some bat-lady down the street, or one of her ephemeral six-month girlfriends. Actions matter. Words… not so much.

Stay Horny My Friends.

 

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